Why go on?

by Anne-Sophie

in Blog

Nothing makes sense anymore. Now I am the one being punished for grieving for Amy and I won’t be allowed to do Yoga, which I have been so looking forward to. Nor will I be allowed to do Nordic Walking, which I enjoyed so very much yesterday and helped me tremendously. I won’t be allowed to participate in the fitness class, which was so much fun because for the first time in my entire life, I did not work out in order to burn calories, but to feel my muscles and to move. They are taking it all away again. Plus, they are telling me that my weight gain is not really weight gain but just water. However, they don’t care and still expect me to gain 12 pounds in the next 3 weeks to reach the goal weight. I weighed 41,8 kg last Tuesday (the day that counts and sets the goal for the next 4 weeks), but I had lost 6 pounds when I was weighed on Friday. They even told me that it IS water retention, but it does not matter. Right now, I feel like giving up because the goal is not reachable. 

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{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }

nevrothwen May 3, 2011 at 7:43 am

Please, please tell them how you feel, how you feel like you're being punished.
It is really important that you keep fighting for yourself.


ilea02 May 3, 2011 at 11:03 am

I agree with Winnie. Stand up for yourself. Tell them how you like the classes and how they make you feel.
Hugs and love!


Lea May 3, 2011 at 11:16 am

I agree! Speak up & tell them or at least show them your blog post! You have to keep pushing for you!!

Stop & really look at your family & your hubby. Now, fight! We'd all come fight for you, but only you can fight for you!

We love you! You can do this! I'm praying for you! Anne, God loves you & made you for this. We all have our struggles & battles. You can't give up! You have to fight with all you have! Amy didn't give up & neither should you!

You give others encouragement & strength to face our battles openly & bravely!

I love you Hon! You have to fight! Stand up & tell them! Hugs!


Geoff Gentry May 3, 2011 at 11:52 am

I agree you have to tell them that you need to have physical activity and that they will have to work with you to bring balance. You are a strong woman and have a great husband, family and your friends behind you!

A few verses that have helped me in tough times:

Philippians 4:7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Psalm 4:8 In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety.

Romans 8:37-39 But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.


iandrea May 3, 2011 at 12:08 pm


I hate that you feel so discouraged. These ladies are right. You cannot give up, and you do have to fight for yourself.

But, sweety. I'm going to all give you a little tough love.
We all miss Amy terribly. She leaves a huge gaping whole in our little interwebs family. Grieving is something you have to do at you own pace, and in a way that will allow you to best work through those emotions. No one can really tell you what's the right or wrong way to do so. Unfortunately, as much as we wish it so, the rest of the world doesn't stop because we are grieving. As best you can, keep going. Don't give up on yourself and on your goals.

Don't think of them telling you to cut down your exercise as a punishment. If you try for a second to look at impartially, they have to. The more calories you burn, the less weight you will gain, which is the goal of your treatment. You need to find a happy balance between your calory intake and how many you're burning. I know you know this. Maybe you can ask for snack suggestions, incorporate protein shakes, smoothies, and other things to help bump up your calory intake so you can resume your exercise. Or perhaps maybe attending only half the class. That way this new lifestyle will be something you can continue once you successfully complete the program.

I know the 12 pound goal seems tough. But goals are meant to challenge us. Take it one pound at a time. Even if you fall a few pounds short, you'll still be in a better health situation than you are now. THAT my friend, Is still a success!

Hang in there, hon! You CAN do this! You're braver and stronger than give yourself credit for!



Amanda from Michigan May 3, 2011 at 12:48 pm

Wow, what good advice everyone here has given. By the way, I just want to say that I love you, Anne, and all of the wonderful people who have commented here. You are all amazing friends, and we are so blessed to have each other. Encouragement is what we do best. And Anne, you need it now.

Remember this is temporary. You are working towards a goal, and it seems scary, but you can make it. And the people who are running your treatment are professionals and they understand how things work. While it may seem awful to not be able to workout, it's not a lifetime ban, but something for now. It will get better. And you know what, Winnie, Maggie, Geoff, Andrea, the others, and me….we'll be here for you. Keep up, keep sharing your feelings, and know you are loved.

Hugs to you!!!


April May 3, 2011 at 2:56 pm

Others above have given wiser advice than I could give… but please know that I am in your corner along with so many others. Do not lose heart.


Phlegon May 4, 2011 at 3:06 am

Like April, I don't have anything wise to add. I'm praying for you, and I hope today is a better day. :)


FredFromLongIsland May 4, 2011 at 3:25 pm

Nutrition first, calories second, and exercise when it's medically permitted. :-) I had a friend who was incapacitated by pneumonia, needed surgery in fact, and I don't suppose the doctors would have advised him to exercise during that time, either. Sometimes we all need what's called "recovery time." Build a firm foundation, and the rest will happen in good time.

I am also thinking of you and praying!


Anne-Sophie (aka. anneso87) May 8, 2011 at 6:04 am

Fred, you are the voice of reason and have given me so much valuable advice during the last 6 months or so.
I just wish I was as patient as I should be…


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