Why go on?
Nothing makes sense anymore. Now I am the one being punished for grieving for Amy and I won’t be allowed to do Yoga, which I have been so looking forward to. Nor will I be allowed to do Nordic Walking, which I enjoyed so very much yesterday and helped me tremendously. I won’t be allowed to participate in the fitness class, which was so much fun because for the first time in my entire life, I did not work out in order to burn calories, but to feel my muscles and to move. They are taking it all away again. Plus, they are telling me that my weight gain is not really weight gain but just water. However, they don’t care and still expect me to gain 12 pounds in the next 3 weeks to reach the goal weight. I weighed 41,8 kg last Tuesday (the day that counts and sets the goal for the next 4 weeks), but I had lost 6 pounds when I was weighed on Friday. They even told me that it IS water retention, but it does not matter. Right now, I feel like giving up because the goal is not reachable.