Yesterday I was really, really sick (I still feel super weak and shivery) and had to cancel my cooking class AGAIN. I was so disappointed because I had mentally prepared myself and had fought some major battles inside. From Sunday to Monday night, I had nightmares of spaghetti and tomato sauce. So, yes, you guessed it; spaghetti arrabbiata was the meal I wanted to cook. Carbs are still hard for me to eat, especially at night. I have always eaten my “larger” meals for lunch and ate something light (if at all) for dinner. Needless to say this this was going to be a major challenge, but I was determined to rise to it.

Having to stay at home, I refused to give in and instead cooked the spaghetti here, slightly delirious, but with a lot of purpose. I have to admit that I hardly tasted anything because of my cold, but I ate a – what I thought was a – normal portion and, well, I am still alive.

I was so very proud of myself and still am. This was a huge step forward. Just a few months or even weeks ago, I would have refused to eat anything at all. I just did not see the point of consuming

any calories when all I did was lie in bed. But not anymore. I was hungry and I ate. So what? I did not wake up with a body out of control or with tons of kilos more on the hips. But I woke up with a feeling of joy and pride because of what I had accomplished on the night before. I think that this was an even more important step for me because I did it alone and did not even have the help of my fellow girls in the cooking class.

We can change. It is hard and it takes a lot of time and DETERMINATION.

But if you really want to stop suffering, you can. If I can do it, anybody can.

Keep Fighting every single day. 


Bild: “Spaghetti all’arrabbiata” von Giovanni JL
Quelle: Wikimedia Commons

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