by Anne-Sophie

in Blog

When I came here 4 weeks ago, I had all kinds of plans and thought I would have all the time in the world to catch up on books, movies, TV shows (like Mad Men, Fringe, The West Wing), blogs, learn Dreamweaver, Illustrator, Flash and Photoshop, write letters, FINALLY start and finish my own website etc.
Well, I was brought back down to earth immediately.

I have had to lower my expectations to slightly above NONE.
I am too exhausted between therapy sessions to do much work and I feel too empty to be inspired and do create work.

So, what ARE my priorities or rather, what do I want them to be?
Do I want to read or watch TV or create my website or watch movies or listen to podcasts or write new blog posts?
Lately, I have been feeling more and more pressure because I could not keep up with all the shows I wanted to watch, the podcasts I would like to listen to. But what will happen if I don’t watch Fringe until much later or let my list of podcasts go up to 200 and then delete half of it? The answer: nothing! Nothing will happen.

I am supposed to ENJOY my shows and podcasts and not see them as a duty.

At first, I could not even concentrate enough to read a book or watch a TV show or movies; all I did for days was s sit and look out the window (thank goodness for the view!!!!); everything felt too much and I was just overwhelmed.
Now, however, I have gained back to luxury of being able to concentrate enough to devour books and watch 2-hour long movies. YAY for that! I am literally grabbing on to my books after every single meal. They serve as the perfect distraction. I can escape into a different world and just leave the feelings and thoughts. that are so hard to bear, behind.
Being able to enjoy books again is the first positive aspect of being in therapy and I am beyond delighted about it.

As for being creative; that is not really possible yet. I hardly find the words to write in my journal nor do I have the creative outbursts I used to have to create all kinds of awesome illustrations and graphics. But I am sure that, if I am patient, this too will come back.

I just have to be patient… If only it wasn’t that hard. 😉

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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

BagelTechNews April 20, 2011 at 5:08 am

I feel the same way about podcasts. I have two that I really dont want to miss and I listen to all of the networks as well just for quality control but really speaking, I miss most. I NEVER miss my tweets tho. Most of my buddies are on there and I havent met 90% of them 😉


Anne-Sophie April 24, 2011 at 9:36 pm

well, I am terribly at keeping up with my tweets lately… But I am trying my best.
But I am glad to hear that I am not the only person who has a tough time keeping up with all the podcasts. :)


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