Yesterday evening, I was interviewed live on a show called “TalkTäglich”. The show is 20 minutes long and I was supposed to be the main focus of the evening. Needless to say, I was nervous. Really, really nervous. I was thinking that I would fail, that I would not know what to say, that I won’t understand the questions and so on. I have the habit of chewing my nails when I am anxious and my nails look horrible today… When I got ready at home, I freaked out. I nearly had a breakdown, so nervous was I. The closer it got to 6.30 pm the more terrified I was. However, the crew was really nice and really tried to make me feel comfortable. Just before the show started, I asked myself: “What are you so scared of? What can go wrong? What can happen to you?” The answer was: “Nothing. Nothing can happen to me. If I misspeak, I will start again. Everything will be alright. No one will try to trick or harm me.” This inner monologue calmed me down. In the end, the show was a huge success. I was quite ok with what I said (of course, there are always things I would have liked to express differently) and I had a generally good time. My husband was super proud of me and I was too.
This just shows that we are our own worst enemy. Why did I talk myself down all day long? Why is my first thought when I have a challenge in front of me that I will fail? This is a feeling that has always been with me. I now know that my brother’s constant comments about my inability to do ANYTHING the right way is the root of these thoughts and feelings. BUT now I am learning to stop these negative thoughts and I am starting to relax. I am starting to believe in myself. I am NOT the girl that was hit and that was tortured. No, I am a grown woman with purpose. I have survived one of the most serious mental illnesses. I am strong. I can and will be excellent and fabulous. We ALL can!
What is holding you back? What are the thoughts that cause you to doubt yourself, the thoughts that stop yourself from being all that you can be?
Take a moment to look into yourself and identify these negative thoughts and feelings and then look at them objectively. Are they really true? Do they have any relation to the life you live? If not, work on yourself. Every single time these thoughts enter your head, tell them to leave you alone, tell them that you are an amazing person and that they do not hold any truth. That is what I do – every single day. And it works. Just believe in yourself!
Keep Fighting, my friends.
P.S. You can watch the interview here!