Hope Interview Series Part IV – Benjamin

by Anne-Sophie

in Hope

Every week, I feature an inspiring person who has struggled with anorexia at one point in his or her life and has recovered.

I am all about spreading the message of hope because this is something we so often lack.When we’re in such a deep relationship with our eating disorder and these sick thoughts and behaviors take up most of our time and shape our days, it is hard to remember that there is a way out.

I am hoping to inspire and motivate you with these interviews and that you too will see that you can get your life back.

Today courageous and super active Benjamin of  A Pensive Insight will give us his take on recovery.

1. Tell us something about yourself. Who are you? What do you do in life?

My name is Benjamin, a 24 year old student currently living in the Warwickshire. I am an avid reader of philosophy, and I read and write poetry. I currently live independently with two cats.

2. When and why did your eating disorder start?

My eating disorder started when I was approximately fourteen years of age as a result of bullying, insecurity and depression.

3. What was your biggest fear? Why did you starve yourself?

My biggest fear was being ridiculed and bullied, both at home and at school. Another big fear that perturbed me was the feeling of being “out of control”, feeling rejected, isolated and incredibly depressed.

4. When did your healing process start and do you know what made you decide why you wanted to change your life?

I have been in and out of recovery for numerous years and the biggest motivation to change came from the induction of love into my life. Relationships and friendships were all a big motivation for me; a catalyst to change, a new horizon to embrace!

5. Can you tell us more about your healing process?

Without deviating into conjecture, I think a big factor in my healing was to grasp onto a rational viewpoint, to look at my position as pragmatically and with as much prudence as possible. I clasped notions to change, uttered the dangers of perpetuating this torment that this eating disorder would create and I remembered the wishes of others of whom I cared immensely for. I thought about the ideal life, the ideal me, then I contrasted that with my current life. I mused over what was needed to be adopted to deviate to that ideal, an ideal that was possible, healthy, and long-lasting and an inspiration to others!

6. Do you still have a “black list” of items that you won’t eat? Or can you now say that you eat everything you want?

I tend to avoid a life of edible privation. I eat moderately, in reasonable proportion and I remember how temporary and short life is when I feel a strong hesitation coming over me.

7. Do you consider yourself healthy now? Do you feel comfortable in your skin?

I am much healthier than I used to be and it took a lot of effort, determination and persistence to embrace the required mental and physical resilience. There are too many individuals who exert too much time and effort on their body image without ever having time to actually take the time to enjoy it.

8. Do you think that there could be done more in order to prevent eating disorders?

I think there needs to be societal shifts before the number of people with eating disorder dissipates. I think that we need to highlight the importance of love, the acceptance of oneself and how unhealthy and inimical it is to be so beguiled with one’s looks. We only live once; be the life that you would feel proud to have placed as your epitaph.

9. Is there any advice that you could give to our readers?

Contentment is not the fulfilment of what you want, but the realization of how much you already have. Your life should never be quantified, what is important is the depth of one’s life. Change your thoughts and you change your world from the inside out. Never try to change your world from the outside in. It was once said that the journey of discovery is no in seeking new scenery, but having new eyes. Eating disorders are not truly about weight, calories and one’s body image; it is much more complex than that. Appreciate the beauty of life, the importance and health and confide in those you trust if and when you feel yourself having struggles with your body image.

 

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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Benjamin David May 4, 2012 at 2:33 pm

Thank you for allowing me to contribute to your website and your cause.
Benjamin David recently posted..FutureMy Profile

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Anne-Sophie May 4, 2012 at 2:42 pm

Thank you, Benjamin. It was inspiring to read about your journey and hear your thoughts.
Anne-Sophie recently posted..Eating Disorder and Recovery SlogansMy Profile

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John L May 7, 2012 at 3:54 am

Wow what a story and what a struggle. I hope that people read this and really take it to heart.
John L recently posted..Don’t Become a Statistic to House FireMy Profile

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Anne-Sophie May 7, 2012 at 7:37 am

Hi John,

yes, Benjamin is courageous and a true fighter.

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