All my therapies have now officially started.
It is hard and I feel fat and empty and all my inspiration is gone (I had so many ideas that I wanted to realize), I feel alone and am lonely and I am terrified of the “realness” of it all.
But I WANTED IT AND I WILL GET THROUGH THIS.
There is no way back: as one doctor told me; 20 percent of the girls with my level of anorexia die because of one symptom of this disease (even if it is at a later stage)l
This is not funny and it is not an easy fix. It has to be done now. I will be among those 80 percent, FOR SURE.