“If you don’t love yourself, you cannot love others. You will not be able to love others. If you have no compassion for yourself then you are not able of developing compassion for others.” – Dalai Lama
I value this quote because despite what we are taught, believe and even think we’re doing, we won’t understand the full capacity of loving and feeling for others if we don’t first love ourselves.
We have to cultivate self-love, not only because that way we can cherish others more deeply, but also because it is an invaluable part of recovery.
You will never fully recover if you hold on to your self-hatred and feelings of worthlessness. In order to let go of your anorexia you need to go on a deep journey of discovering your true self. Consider what you like, what you dislike, what you value, what you dream of, how you view politics, religion and other aspects of the world. The best way to do this important self-reflection is by either coaching or journaling.
Compassion is another aspect we so often lack not only in recovery but also when we’re still very sick. Be kind to yourself. Remind yourself that you’re not choosing this fate and that relapses and bad days happen to everyone. Be patient, even if this is the last thing in the world you want to be.
The more you get to know yourself the more you’ll understand your eating disorder, your moods, your feelings, reactions and decisions. The more you will feel compassion for your emotions, the easier it will get to accept them just as they are.
The love that results from you falling intimately in love with yourself and developing a deep sense of kindness will fill your world and those of your loved ones with abundance, joy and peace of mind. It won’t happen over night and the world will not be one full of bliss, but everything will get easier because you’ll act out of a deep sense of confidence, respect and, well, love.