Visiting the Clinic for Psychotherapy

March 9, 2011

On Monday evening, I visited the psychological station of the Universitätsklinik. It is a nice place. Everything is clean, but it doesn’t feel like a clinic. Everything is kept in warm colors and I think I could feel quite comfortable there.  There were 10 girls and 1 guy between the ages of 16 to 30. […]

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Am I about to lose my identity?

March 8, 2011

So, I had the 2nd conversation with my doctor on Thursday and it turned out the way that I had guessed it. She told me that the results of my peripheral quantitative computed tomography were not good at all. I have osteoporosis. And while I already knew the diagnosis, I didn`t know how severe it […]

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Learning from a friend

March 4, 2011

I just listened to last week`s episode of Balanced Living Weekly ( Cliff Ravenscraft shares in this podcast episode some memories of his recent cruise, his weight gain and how he enjoyed every minute of it, not once feeling guilty about eating too much. This reminded me of how I took our bathroom scale with […]

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Today is the day

March 3, 2011

that Germany’s Next Topmodel returns!!!! just kidding… Today is the day of my 2nd session with the doctor at the Universitätsklinik. We will talk about my treatment plan. I cannot wait to hear her thoughts and suggestions. At the same time I am super nervous and feel a bit queasy.However, the last week has shown […]

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Third time is a charm

February 23, 2011

Okay, let us try this post again… Last Thursday was my first therapy session at the Universitätsklinik Zürich and it didn’t go as I expected. It took me such a long time to write this post because I had to come to terms and deal with everything that the doctor said. I had the feeling […]

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OMG! Crystal Renn expresses exactly what I feel.

February 22, 2011

I cannot stop crying because she is putting everything I have everfelt and thought into words. MENTAL TORTURE! It really IS nothing but MENTAL TORTURE. 24/7. Do I have HOPE too? Can’t get enough? Here’s more:Don’t forget to browse the archives!

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New beginning

February 21, 2011

Today is the first day of the new semester and it feels weird to be back in my university.I have been lethargic all day yesterday, crying all night and was in a really bad mood this morning. I am a routine kind of girl. I like routine, I thrive on routine and it is always […]

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… we have to live with the consequences of our choices!

February 19, 2011

… and make the best of it. Well, Andreas and I ate so much of that meat prepared with Cameroonian spices that we were sick on Sunday and Monday. Especially I was the one who felt as sick as never before. I will spare you the details; let’s just say that it wasn’t pretty… Every […]

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February 14, 2011

I am sitting on a train to German (once again) and I am sobbing.My jeans is as tight as never before and I cannot describe the physical pain I feel from that realization. At the same time, my husband is getting thinner and thinner every single day and this is putting an IMMEASURABLE pressure on […]

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February 9, 2011

… and THEN (maybe 15 minutes after I wrote this, I experienced the following: Andreas & Gabrielle Gabrielle (the cute baby girl of on of Joseph’s sisters) had been scared of Andreas from the very first moment she saw him. She screamed as loud as she possibly could every time he came near her […]

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February 8, 2011

I had totally forgotten about this blog post I wrote on the 1st evening in Yaoundé. I wrote it after watching “The Black Swan” while we were relaxing for a couple of hours and will just post it now – more than 3 weeks after I wrote it… But it doesn’t matter since the feelings […]

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2 months…

February 6, 2011

It has been almost 2 months since my scream for help, since I have realized that I was on a very, very dangerous path. Upfront I have to say that I FEEL FAT. I KNOW I am NOT FAT, but I feel fat every single second of the day. I don’t want to eat, but […]

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