Blog

There comes a time in your life when you have to let some things go.

Things that you love.

Things that you have worked hard for.

Things that you feel deeply passionate about.

Things that have given you hope, friends, love and many wonderful experiences.

Things that have shaped your life for a long and rewarding time.

This is such a time.

After a long and gut-wrenching process of planning the next steps of my life, my online presence and with that, my future, my heart and mind led me to the conclusion that I had to move on from certain projects and focus on one single mission:

empowering you to find your purpose, self- and body-love and, what is most important, your self-worth.

In the past year, I’ve juggled too many projects, too many messages and too many commitments. I had spread myself too thin and had lost my mental and physical balance.

The pressure to write for two completely independent websites, keep four different podcasts alive and try to make a living was taking its toll on my health and state of mind. At the same time, the quality of my work was not what I wanted it to be and so I was doing both a disservice to you, my devoted readers and podcast listeners, and myself.

Over time, it became evident that I needed to eliminate certain things and create a sharp focus on one single theme. This is what I did with the rebranding of aMINDmedia.com.

During this process of rebranding, I decided to not continue writing for this website, nor will I produce any new episodes of the Fighting Anorexia podcast after episode 60. 

I know that many of you will be upset and so am I, but I want you to know that I did not take this decision lightly. 

I will forever cherish this website and it will not be taken down. This blog has saved me more often than I can tell. It has kept me sane, gave me a purpose and a reason to keep fighting.

The podcast has helped me just as much as it has helped you and I will most certainly continue to draw from the strategies I talked about for a long time to come.

I am working on a new podcast and weekly videos about self-empowerment and I know that you will benefit from the episodes since the finding of your true self and the developing of self-love is such an integral part of fighting anorexia.

This is why I am hoping you’ll move on with me to aMINDmedia and the new podcast and that together we can empower ourselves beyond the eating disorder that we have been or are still fighting.

I love each and every single one of you and I cannot even begin to put into words how much your support has meant to me over the last year. You will forever hold a very special place in my heart.

I’ll never forget what you have done for me.

Thank you from the entire of my heart and I hope to see you over at aMINDmedia.

Anne-Sophie Reinhardt

Can't get enough? Here's more:

  • Don't forget to browse the archives!

{ 4 comments }

This is a guest post by Gina Chirichella.

I spend a lot of time on my own blog writing dance metaphors for recovery. There are a few reasons for this. Besides the fact that I LOVE dance and finally get to take classes on a regular basis and I love metaphor (it’s my favorite literary device…do YOU have a favorite literary device?), I happen to take from teachers that throw out little sayings that apply so well to recovery.

I was in a class today and the teacher was trying to get us to “let go,” to trust ourselves to move in a way that felt dangerous or scary, but we were probably all capable of doing.

She said if you go for it and you fall, it’s just information for you, not a reason to stop trying.

My brain started reeling on that one. It was very true in the class, but this is a blog about recovery, so I’m going to head in that direction.

I’m at a point in recovery where I’ve been mostly physically stable for quite a few months. I was in intensive treatment (residential, PHP, IOP) from December to May and I worked my little butt off while I had the support. I discharged because I was really ready to step down, not because of insurance (fortunately) or because I had hit a wall and wasn’t willing to work through it.

Nonetheless, it’s been hard. My weight has wavered as has my motivation at times. I know that eating my meal plan is a realistic goal — I had been doing the SAME meal plan for a long time. I also know that the emotional work I’m being asked to do it what I need to do at this point in recovery. Yet I’m so hesitant to really commit to doing any of it. Instead, I’m spending time dancing around kiiiiind of doing it and kind of just hanging out in limbo. (Given, it’s a better limbo than I was in before I went into treatment, but still…)

A big part of the reason I’m unwilling to commit is because I’m afraid to fail. I think as a group, people with eating disorders are generally hyper-critical of themselves and I am no exception. Now that I’m actually wanting to get and stay well, I’m afraid of trying hard and failing. (I have a friend that would say, “you’re being so eating disordered about your recovery!” she’s right…)

More than “failing,” I’m afraid of trying something, faltering, and feeling too defeated to try again.

Wouldn’t it be a nice mind shift if I could see a falter as more information for myself?

What if anytime you slipped, had a hard meal or snack, maybe had a small lapse (or even a relapse) instead of saying f*ck it, you said, “okay, now I know a little bit more so that I can be more grounded, more certain next time.” (Let’s be realistic, we’ve all had the “f*ck it” experience…) The way I would like to see it is I’m never going to know what I’m capable of if I don’t try. If I try to have a harder meal, do some difficult stuff in therapy etc and I struggle, I know my limits, I know where to start next time. If I try and I succeed…well hell, now I’m further than I thought I could be.

love some samuel beckett

So often recovery seems daunting, so black and white (either you are doing well or struggling, there is no in between). What if you’re doing well and gathering information to continue doing well. Or struggling, but learning where to pick up the pieces.

Using every experience as a way to gather data is a great way to put a gray area into a world that feels SO black and white at times (at least my world feels very black and white). Sometimes it feels difficult to think about reframing an ENTIRE process like recovery so for myself I made the goal a bit more manageable. I’m working on sticking to my meal plan and incorporating more “scary foods.” I’m also working on being more flexible — allowing spontaneous things to happen with food and know that I can go back to the meal plan at the next meal or snack no matter what happens in the interim (sometimes I get lost in the interim…). So I’m going to work on noticing what happens when I let go…what is conducive to my success and what situations cause me to lapse or feel out of control.

How can you learn to let go and give yourself a chance to gather new information? Start small, don’t scare yourself doing something that’s supposed to be helpful (I’ve certainly done this. Very counter productive..).

And remember, if you fall, it’s just information to use for next time…

Can't get enough? Here's more:

  • Don't forget to browse the archives!

{ 1 comment }

Love is the Key to Recovery

June 14, 2012

Having an eating disorder means having a severe lack or even a complete deficiency of self-love. We hate everything about ourselves, our bodies and our lives. We cannot understand how people would even want to be around us and we can hardly stand living with ourselves. Engaging in eating disordered behavior is a way of […]

Read the full article →

Perfection: How To Help Anorexics “See” Their True Reflection

June 13, 2012

Today’s word of the day is “perfect“, which is layered with so many extremely negative and troubling messages and views that we go on a journey of self-destruction in order to achieve this illusive state of perfection. I will share a great guest post today that will help you see your true reflection and who […]

Read the full article →

Standing out from the crowd: Tracey

June 12, 2012

Every now and then, I feature an inspiring person who has struggled with anorexia at one point in his or her life and has recovered. I am all about spreading the message of hope because this is something we so often lack.When we’re in such a deep relationship with our eating disorder and these sick […]

Read the full article →

Anorexia Is NOT Logical

June 9, 2012

Logical: following or able to follow the rules of logic in which ideas or facts are based on other true ideas or facts. There are many “facts” your anorexia is telling you throughout its lifetime. The fact that you are unworthy of love. The fact that you are fat even if you’re close to death. […]

Read the full article →

Anorexia means Trouble

June 8, 2012

As a kid, I hated to be in trouble. I remember how often I started to cry whenever I was caught doing something I knew I shouldn’t have done. Like the time that my girlfriends and I were caught in the school’s bathroom during a breakfast break by our principal who was anything but pleasant […]

Read the full article →

The Honest Truth about Life with Anorexia

June 7, 2012

The honest truth about life with anorexia. It’s ugly. It’s limiting. It’s hurtful. It’s harmful. It’s destructive. It’s miserable. It’s numb. It’s oppressive. It’s hell. It’s existing, not living. It’s about missing out on fun. It’s about missing out on experiences. It’s about pretending instead of being. It’s about blaming and not owning. It’s about […]

Read the full article →

A true Warrior: Sia Jane

June 6, 2012

Every now and then, I feature an inspiring person who has struggled with anorexia at one point in his or her life and has recovered. I am all about spreading the message of hope because this is something we so often lack.When we’re in such a deep relationship with our eating disorder and these sick […]

Read the full article →

The Power of Vulnerability

June 3, 2012

Power: The ability to do something or act in a particular way, esp. as a faculty or quality. Power has a lot of meanings, especially when it relates to having an eating disorder. Often times, it seems like your eating disorder has all the power over you and you are just a helpless person in […]

Read the full article →

Anorexia: Wanting to be Invisible But Seen

June 2, 2012

When I started to restrict, I wanted to be seen by the world. I wanted others to tell me how proud they were of my willpower. I wanted them to comment on the fabulousness of sitting in a restaurant during Christmas time and watching everybody else enjoy the Christmas Dinner while I was staring at […]

Read the full article →

Recovery: What does Change have to do with it?

June 1, 2012

Recovery is all about change, isn’t it? You have to change your entire life in order to recover from your eating disorder. It’s scary. It’s new. It’s difficult. It’s something nobody wants to do. But it’s the only way out. The only way forward. To be quite honest, I’ve had a very difficult week. My […]

Read the full article →