What is your eating disorder voice?
It is that part of your mind that is sick and that tells you to engage in unhealthy and disordered habits. It is the part of your mind that tells you you are fat, no matter how skinny you are, it tells you that you can only survive by sticking to your damaging patterns, it tells you that you are invincible and won’t die by not eating.
I wrote a blog post about it: you can check it out here!
So, how can we get rid of it?
1. Separate this voice from your own
At the beginning, this can be hard, because you’re eating disorder voice has been with you for so long and it is feels like it is a part of you. However, the eating disorder voice is not your own. Everything that you hear that is NOT for your body and health’s best interest is not your own voice.
2. Give it a name
It could be ED or Eddie, Anorexia, Annerexia, Ana or any other name you can think of.
It is important to distinguish yourself from your eating disorder.
3. Create a new voice
Think of how you would like to be treated and how you treat someone you love. Create a voice that is kind and reassuring, a voice that is motherly and that can pick you up when your eating disorder is loud again.
4. Identify your feelings.
Instead of saying: I am ugly. Say: I feel ugly.
Think of what it is that you are really feeling when you’re eating disorder voice is telling you that you are fat or unworthy. Are you feeling sad, disappointed, desperate, lonely? Identify your feelings and then you can work on them.
Eating is important to feed your brain and to strengthen your healthy part of your mind.
At the beginning, it may be helpful to read books about the nutritional aspects of food while you are eating!
6. Use Coping Mechanisms
Create a list with at least 5 coping mechanisms that you can use whenever you feel weak or your eating disorder is telling you to engage in unhealthy habits.
6. Ignore it. Disobey it!
It is hard to ignore your eating disorder because it is often so very loud, but with practice, you will be able not to listen to its orders!
7. Learn about yourself
Ask yourself: Who am I? What am I?
What do people who love me just the way I am love about me?
What are your hobbies?
Who is your favorite poet or writer?
What is your favorite movie?
What is your dream career?
What are your goals in life?
Build a relationship with yourself!
8. Talk back!
To really hear yourself, have a conversation with the ED voice.
Fill in the blanks:
ED: You are not allowed to eat today. Look in the mirror, you are way too fat.
You: Maybe, maybe I am fat, but __________________. And why does everybody tell me that _____________?
ED: If you eat now, you will completely lose control. Listen to me and you will have full control over your life and beyond.
You: You truly make me feel like I am in control, but ________________. And why is my life so difficult since you are here? Something does not add up. Maybe YOU are just afraid that ___________________.
ED: You are worthless.
You: You are right, today I feel worthless, but ______________________.
ED: No, you really are worthless and you only deserve to live if you hold on to me.
You: That is NOT true. Everybody deserves _________________.
ED: You will never be happy without me.
You: I am sorry you feel that way, but _________________.
ED: Even if you will be happy, you will never have friends when you eat healthily.
You: Now, that is just a stupid thing to say. I _________________. And do you really think others are ________________.
ED: Think about it. If you gain weight and reach a healthy weight, you will never be able to love yourself again.
You: I don’t know if you are right, but I don’t like myself right now either, so ________________.
ED: No, you cannot live without me. You are nothing without me.
You: Yes, I can because _________________. Even if it is difficult, I will ________________. Now, go to hell.
At the beginning of recovery, I thought I would never ever get rid of this voice. I was desperate and cried a lot because I thought it was hopeless. However, over time, the voice does get weaker. You have to work hard on yourself though.
If you would like to leave me some feedback, you can mail it to firstname.lastname@example.org
You can follow me on twitter: @anneso87
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